hello

blog 12: jim carrey

21 October 2025

There are only three or four good Jim Carrey movies. I'd never seen 'Ace Ventura: Pet Detective'. Now I have, and now I can say it is a phenomenally unfunny and overrated film. Adults recommend this film. This is something I don't understand. I can't just be nostalgia, since somehow this film has a legacy. I don't know, maybe people were just very stupid back then. Roger Ebert's review is accurate.

One thing I did think of while watching was about the movie 'Dr. Dolittle'. Specifically, about the name 'Dolittle'. I think for people born in a certain era, the name 'Dolittle' would be an immediate an obvious reference to the Doolittle Raid. This is an event that seems to still be controversial to this day in Japan. But, for anyone born after maybe 1970, they would only associate the name with one of a few comedy films about some guy that talks to animals. It is interesting how something like that can change so rapidly. You'd think that the first air raid on the Japanese mainland would have greater staying power, legacy, than a random comedy film that isn't even that memorable really. Like I said, maybe people were just very stupid back then. The average person I mean, obviously they were able to develop nuclear weapons and land on the moon and all that, develop the Concorde, etc.

Another thing I noticed while watching 'Ace Ventura' was the Star Trek reference. This is the second time I've noticed a character played by Jim Carrey make a Star Trek reference. He also made one in the 'The Cable Guy' in the scene where he fights Matthew Broderick's character at Medieval Times. No reason I'm bringing this up, I just thought it was interesting. Perhaps Jim Carrey is a trekkie. I will not be looking into this. I know it is only a Google search away, but it is more fun to keep some things a mystery only decipherable through clues left in films.

I also watched 'Malcolm X', the 1992 film directed by Spike Lee. It was very good. Comparable not only in length but also artistic quality to another docudrama/biopic of sorts, and one of my favourite films of all time, JFK. I need to read 'The Autobiography of Malcolm X', and Frantz Fanon's books 'The Wretched of the Earth' and 'Alienation and Freedom' now. The ending scene with Mandela is quite powerful, even moreso since it was filmed while South Africa was still under the apartheid Government. Mandela spoke Malcolms words, and they were spoken with a sincerity that would be injurious to anyone that heard it and knew they were contributing to a society where a man couldn't live with dignity and respect. I understand why Mandela recused himself from saying "by any means necessary". It is arguable whether true social change, or revolution, can come about without considering all means, including those currently considered unacceptable. But, I believe that turning hte other cheek, and demonstrating one's moral superiority, can, and has been shown to have caused or at least sparked, real social change. I am reminded of the examples provided in the book 'Catholicism: A Journey to the Heart of the Faith' by Bishop Robert Barron. In it he gives a few examples of what turning the other cheek can look like in a practical sense. Returning to South Africa, it's said that the South African Archbishop Desmond Tutu once walked by a construction site which had a temporary sidewalk which only permitted one person to walk across it at a time. A white man was at the other end, and said to Tutu "I don't make way for gorillas." Tutu stepped aside and, making a sweeping gesture, said "but I do." A perhaps more explicit example is where Mother Teresa went begging for food with a young child. One person spat in her face, to which she said "Thank you for the gift, do you have anything for the boy." Of course, it is very difficult to imagine applying this philosophy when one is being lynched, targeted, and brutalised. "By any means necessary" is my human side, but I think it is important to strive towards the Christlike behaviour of turning the other cheek.

Music recommendation for today:
Artist: Roly Poly Rag Bear
Album: Star, Water, Pinstripe
Year: 2004
Genre: Shibuya-Kei

blog 11: air travel

19 October 2025

I have broken my streak of daily blogging. Oh well. My interestin the Black American experience continues, as recently I watched the 1992 documentary 'Color Adjustment' which showed the changing perception of Black Americans as the representation of them changed on television. I am fascinated by the course of Black America because their experience and their history, their tragedy, is a microcosm of the trageday befalling humanity now. No, I won't explain further.

I was never afraid of flying or heights as a kid. With age, I've developed a healthy fear of both as a result of my fear of death. Both, but especially flying, are very unnatural ways to die.

Music recommendation for today:
> Artist: Robert Glasper Experiment
> Album: Black Radio
> Year: 2012
> Genre: Neo Soul

blog 10: behind the curve

17 October 2025

You watch a movie like Videodrome and you get the idea Cronenberg really thought that television was going to be the dominant media format forever. Then you watch eXistenZ and you get the feeling that Cronenberg thought video games were going to be the dominant media format forever. I read a book once called 'A Brief History of the Future' by Oona Strathern. It was an interesting read, but what was really impressed upon me was how impossible it really is to predict what tomorrow might hold. Even five years from now is really impossible to predict.

Music recommendation for today:
> Artist: Screamin' Jay Hawkins
> Album: At Home with Screamin'Jay Hawkins
> Year: 1958
> Genre: Screamin' Jay Hawkins

blog 9: time travel

16 October 2025

Not much to say today. Much to think about, especially at work. October is an interesting month because it doesn't feel like that late in the year, but it is. November feels late in the year, but there's something delusional for me about October. This year is almost over, and it has been a big year for me. A good year, all things considered. But perhaps it's not so late that it's still premature to declare the year good. But, as things currently stand, this is the year I'll likely remember as the start of my real life.

I read an article in the May 1985 issue of 'SPIN' magazine. The article was on a band I'd never heard of called Da BoDeans. It was four columns about a band, new at the time, its members young and optimistic. They hadn't released an album and were only seven months into playing bars and clubs in the local area. The feature ended on a high note saying they were being praised by record executives. It all seemed on the up and up for them, in that issue anyway. I was interested to see how they turned out, and where their career eventually went. I wanted to know if they made it, even though I'd never heard of them til now. It seems they did make it. They got a major label contract. They released many albums. They are actually still active. In 1987 they were voted Best New American Band in Rolling Stone reader poll. They toured with U2 and Peter Gabriel. They had a song be the theme of a popular tv show in the '90s. Not a bad career trajectory. Also one of the members was accused by another member's stepdaughter of having sexually abused her from 2001 to 2007.

I think it's normal for people to wish that they could go back in time and do things all over again. I've thought that many times myself. But all of my decisions have placed me in my current position, and in hindsight they've also helped me avoid being in a worse position. So overall, I don't think I can ask for much more.

Music recommendation for today:
> Artist: Nadine Shah
> Album: Kitchen Sink
> Year: 2020
> Genre: Art Rock

blog 8: spoiler alert

15 October 2025

I have started reading 'Stoner' by John Williams. Although Williams has said that the characters and events don't have a counterpart in the reality of his time at the University of Missouri, I suspect that this is not entirely true. I find it very hard to believe that anyone can create anything purely original like that, without infusing in the characters and settings that which one knows. And the setting in this novel is meant to be a, somewhat fictionalised, version of his own place of employment. Former place of employment. I'm only 16 pages in but I'm enjoying it so far. The prose is very matter-of-fact yet erudite, without being patronising.

Unfortunately I made the mistake of reading the preface that came with my copy. I sometimes read the preface of a novel because sometimes they're good. They can tell me something about the author, their modes, the context of production, whether aspects of the novel are autobiographical or semi-autobiographical, and point to themes and intertextual references to look more into later. Unfortunately the preface for my copy of 'Stoner' just spoiled the plot and didn't do much else. I should have anticipated that, to be fair. I also should have exercised more care as I was reading the preface so that, as I entered the 'plot-discussion' parts of it, that I wasn't spoiling it for myself. Alas, I did neither. Anyway, it should be ok. I feel I'll still be able to enjoy it.

The dastardly thing about having the lightbulb in the middle of the ceiling is that there's no comfortable place to lie down and read a book. It's like always having the sun directly on top of you. I should invest in a reading lamp. Otherwise I'll have to only read sitting up, or during the daytime.

I'm beginning to think my 'friendship' with those friends of mine that I don't really like has reached an end, but that nobody wants to admit it. None of them are responding to my messages in the group chat. I'll have to 'intrude' at their next get together and see what the vibe is before I come to any conclusions. Perhaps I am being too precious and need to chill out.

Music recommendation for today:
> Artist: The Notwist
> Album: Neon Golden
> Year: 2002
> Genre: German Indie

blog 7: gossips and voyeurs

14 October 2025

Finished reading 'The Road' today. My opinion remains that it is a fine novel. I already know it is one that has left a lasting impression on me. In particular the idea of 'carrying the fire'. I do wonder how I would fare in such a world. I don't think I have it in me to be so resilient. Our current world already leads me to much despair. A world with truly no future as in the novel would probably be unbearable. But, not to go all David Goggins, someone has to carry the fire. Someone has to be the good guys. If not us, then who? So there does seem to be, intrinsically, somewhere in the soul, the drive to keep hope for a brighter future and 'carry the fire' of civilisation and humanity. The Eastern Orthodox saint Paisios of Mount Athos is thought to have once said "What I see around me would drive me insane if I did not know that no matter what happens, God will have the last word." I take comfort in that.

The WWE came to my city recently, and I suppose it was a big deal. I asked on a discord what the appeal of WWE is and I was told that it's 'k dramas for 13 year old boys'. Going off that, and the one WWE South Park episode, it seems that it taps into the same aspect of the modern psyche that enjoys 'gossip based entertainment'. Hence the title of today's blog. Another thing that taps into that part of the psyche is the lolcow phenomenon. Not that lolcows exist but the way in which the content they create is consumed. Hence the other part of the title of this blog; voyeurs. However, I note that many voyeurs transition into trolls. I can understand the fascination in impartially observing something produced by a person on the fringes of society. Outsider art is a known thing. I've seen plenty of lolcow docs. It's an entirely other thing to provoke or harrass these people. Some real unemployed behaviour right there. If you're unemployed enough to troll the mentally ill and autistic, it's time to start filling out those job applications. Yes another piping hot take, I know.

Something that interests me is the 'Republic of Letters'. A long-distance intellectual community. Call me delusional, but why can't fedi be that? It can't be any centralised social media, because centralisation inherently does not confer the requisite freedom of expression; all is filtered through the centralised gatekeepers. In a way fedi is already like The Republic of Letters. I don't know how much longer fedi will last. The side I'm on I mean. And the side that's gaining users is more a fiefdom every day. Will the last person to leave fedi please turn out the lights?

Music recommendation for today:
> Artist: Tara Jane O'Neil
> Album: Peregrine
> Year: 2000
> Genre: Ambient Folk

blog 6: jaws

13 October 2025

Something I forgot to talk about in yesterday's blog, in the section about protests and Vietnam, was this scene from the 1998 film 'SLC Punk'.

I think there's a lot of truth to what Matthew Lillard's character is saying, but there is a meta-irony to this scene and this film that can only be appreciated now that we know how that same generation of young people in 1998 turned out. Every generation since 1950 has been the same. 20 more years and I'll sound like my parents too. Of course, this is not a unique opinion.

After watching Bob Gymlan's latest upload 'All Fatal Shark Attacks of 2015 and The Great Shark Coverup' I went down a little rabbit-hole of shark related videos. Gymlan himself recommended the channel 'Shark Happens', and it has about a million videos on different shark attacks. But one incident in particular that Gymlan included in his video was the case of Cameron Robbins. Perhaps it's the video of the incident, captured by onlookers that show the last time he was seen by humans. The dark, grainy footage is disturbing but mesmerising in a way. If you look it up you'll see a number of videos by people analysing it frame by frame to prove that what killed Cameron was a shark. Personally, I agree. There is something captivating about stories of man-eaters. Bears, big cats, sharks. Superpredators. Probably for the same reason stories of survival in general are captivating, like Shackleton, or John Franklin. It seems the more harrowing the story, the more captivating it is. Something about man against nature I suppose.

Naturally, I couldn't resist rewatching the 1975 film 'Jaws'. It holds up. Piping hot take, I know. But for me the last time I'd seen this film was when I was a kid. It's fun to re-watch things from childhood. I'd never bothered rewatching it in the past because it's 'one of those films' that are so 'baseline' to popular culture that you don't feel the need or urge to revisit it. But I feel I should revisit those 'baseline' media like 'Back to the Future' and 'Jurassic Park' and see what I didn't when I had a child's eyes.

Music recommendation for today:
> Artist: Sharks Keep Moving
> Album: Sharks Keep Moving
> Year: 1999
> Genre: Math Rock

blog 5: dispatches

12 October 2025

Attended a palestine protest today. I do genuinely think that what's happening in gaza amounts to a genocide, and that Australia should cut ties with Israel and sanction them. But I also don't think that these protests do very much to sway the Labor and Liberal party. This has not stopped me from attending several of these protest. Politicians are going to do whatever they're going to do. An additional reason for my attendance at these things is that they afford me a social opportunity to catch up with some of my more liberal/progressive friends. I'm realising more and more these days that these kinds of opportunities will only becomre rarer as my social circle ages, we gain more responsibilities, and we find less time for things beyond the immediate. I've known this person since highschool,though back then I'm almost certain they hated me, and though we disagree on some key political points we respect each other's intelligence and can get along where it matters. We get along well now as adults. I'm realising more and more how important it is to preserve those relationships and how precious those really are.

Afterwards we had some excellent wontons and dumplings at a chinese dumpling place. Something we discussed is the idea of 'what will you say when people ask you what you did when all this was going on'. We both agreed that nobody in the future will care, and that most likely in a few years, after the 'war' is over, it'll mostly be forgotten about. I compared it to the Bosnian War and Kosovo in the '90s. Even Iraq, a recent conflict, is becoming a distant memory. It's interesting to me that whenever protests like this happen, people always point to the protests against the Vietnam war as an example of the power of protest. What were the effects of protest on the war in Iraq or Afghanistan? I think during the 1991 Gulf War there was this idea that America, through its actions in that war, would be able to 'exorcise' the ghost of the Vietnam war. I don't believe America, or people in the US zone of influence have been able to exorcise the ghost of the Vietnam war from their hearts. It seems the modes of protest and counterculture now are echoes of echoes. The '90s echoed the '70s and now we're echoing the '90s and the '70s simultaneously.

As I write this, some of my other 'friends' are going out for dinner together. I considered joining them but I realised the only reason I keep contact with them is due to a feeling of sunk cost. I have known most of them for a decade or so now. Do I really enjoy socialising with them? Not really. Perhaps it would be easier for me to cut them off entirely if it weren't so difficult to make new friends. Good friends are the real rare earth resource. Hard to come by and harder to keep. We always end up repeating the same 5 conversations like broken records. Other than that it's just vapid conversations about nothing. I need to make greater effort to maintain the good friends that I have. It's a shame that the friends of mine that I like are always so busy with work and commitments that we never find time to catch up, while the friends I don't like are always available. I guess that's life.

Turns out I lied when I said I'd read 'A Canticle for Leibowitz' next. I've started reading 'The Road' by Cormac McCarthy instead. Had to since I went to donate some blood, and by the time I was hooked up I realised I didn't have anything to entertain myself for the 45 minutes except for whatever ebooks were on my phone. Lo and behold 'The Road' was there. I actually enjoyed it so much that I found a physical copy at a local bookstore after my donation and bought it. I would say that's a glowing recommendation of it so far, though I'm only a third of the way through. I've seen the film adaptation and I liked it. I knew it was going to be a depressing read, but it is a bleakness that challenges me to consider my own ideas about finding purpose in toil and self-sacrifice. I am surprised by how well the sparse prose supports the subtext and themes. We'll see if my opinion changes once I've finished it.

I'm pretty exhausted so that's all for today. Music recommendation for today:
> Artist: Kinokoteikoku
> Album: フェイクワールドワンダーランド
> Year: 2014
> Genre: Japanese Indie

Yeah I'm thinking about making that a recurring part of these.

blog 4: water drops on hot rocks

11 October 2025

crowds of people standing everywhere
across the street I'm at the slop affair

Some prescient words from the band Love and their song 'Maybe the People Would Be the Times or Between Clark and Hilldale'. What an unnecessarily long title. But that album came out in 1967, I didn't realise 'slop affair' was a term back then. Or maybe it wasn't and they were from the future. Actually that reminds me, when I re-read 'The Long Walk' by Stephen King (writing as Richard Bachman) I laughed out loud at this part:

"Bruh," Garratty said, shivering. "A guy could go crazy."

I didn't realise 'bruh' was a term used back then. The novel was published in the '70s but it was written in the late '60s apparently. Apparently it was written in 1967. A synchronicity? Regardless, it amuses me to imagine people in the late '60s talking like gen alpha/zoomers. Would that be considered an anachronism? Or was it actually appropriate to that period. Who is to know. I prefer to believe it's an example of an 'out-of-place artifact' and that King is another project pegasus test subject or something. Maybe the year 1967 is important.

The title of today's blog has no particular relevance to the content. I believe it comes from a German phrase that means your course of action is insignificant; you can't cool a hot rock with drops of water.

I have just found out about the American Legion Boys Nation. I am surprised I haven't heard about this before and how it is very obviously a program to funnel select individuals into certain circles and positions of power in the future. I am surprised I haven't come across it in any conspiracy talk over the years given the notable alumni from that program. Also quite telling that women still aren't allowed into the Boys Nation part of things.

Also watched a video by some literally who at the New York Times explaining how to be a good food critic. What I took from that is that food critics are basically just journalists and have no special insight into food or dining, at least no more than the average man on the street or the average youtuber running a food review channel. Guy was literally saying things like "a good food critic needs to like food" and "I like to put myself in the perspective of the diner". What other perspective would you have? The waiter? The chef? To what end? But I digest. There should be a food criticism journal called 'The Slop Affair'.

blog 3: packt like sardines

10 October 2025

Train today was very crowded, hence the title. My fault for waking up later than usual (victim blaming). The astute observer will notice tis a radiohead reference. I wonder if Thom Yorke still takes the train. or the tube, as they call it over there, across the pond. I'm thinking about writing a short story, a contemporary version of the metamorphosis, where a guy wakes up and realises he's turned chinese. I realise this has pretty much been done in the film 'Watermelon Man', but with a guy waking up and realising he's become black. But I think there far greater humour in waking up as a chinaman, and besides that I have other ideas in mind.

I've been playing the Spyro reignited trilogy on steam. It's fun. I believe I have succeeded in ridding myself of my reliance to spotify for music. There is a wealth of music recommendations out there, for new and old, if one is willing to do a little digging. Really, for music from 1990-2010, you only really need to read CMJ music magazine issues on google books. They're pretty incredible and I've rediscovered a lot that's been more or less forgotten. So many things are produced in a year, and only a few ever become iconic or era defining or carry over into the popular culture/monoculture that a person 10, 20, 30 years later will know about it. But then the stuff that is 'just ok', or good, or even great but not popular gets forgotten. NTS radio is good for new music.

The apocalpyse has arrived. Microsoft has pulled the plug on supporting windows 10 so now my workplace has 'upgraded' all the computers to windows 11. The computers now have 32 gigs of ram, which they need since just running the operating system uses up 10 gigs of ram. I am sure windows 12 will be even better.

I need to message people more often.

blog 2: pasta

9 October 2025

There is no good pasta other than carbonara, and carbonara is worthless without mushrooms. I have learned this the hard way. Perhaps this opinion makes me a mental infant. Perhaps I simply enjoy things that taste nice. ‘The Star Diaries’ by Stanislaw Law is even better the second time around. It’s like ‘The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy’ but actually good instead of having that strange millenial humour aftertaste (yes I know Douglas Adams is a boomer or silent generation or whatever, I blame that generation of Brits as the progenitors of millenial humour). I think I’ll re-read ‘The Invincible’ by Stanislaw Lem next.

I should get into the habit of reading and writing again but the powers that be purposefully keep me so damn sleepy to stop my self-actualisation. I remember the first time I read a novel and actually thought “damn this nigga spitting” was when I read ‘East of Eden’ by John Steinbeck in highschool. That was like my 2001 space odyssey monolith moment when my retard monkey brain realised reading can be good and fulfilling – isn’t it strange how the books they make you read in school are always abysmal dogshit?

I kind want to watch The Black Phone 2, but I also really don’t want to pay $20+ and see it by myself. What I really want is the social interaction that comes with it. The shared experience of seeing a film is, a horror film around the Halloween season, is a good excuse to be social and perhaps force others to be social too. But yet again the powers that be conspire to keep all my irl friends busy and exhausted and so I doubt it will come to pass. I saw ‘The Long Walk’ recently, and re-read the novel, and thought both were pretty good. I should force people to see The Black Phone 2 with me. Actually, I think I’ll re-read ‘A Canticle for Leibowitz’ next.

blog 1: go outside

8 October 2025

I'll add more here later...eventually...